My deafness I endure
To dentures I’m resigned
Bifocals I can manage
But God, how I miss my mind.
I am not yet deaf. I still have all my original teeth minus one. I have worn glasses since the age of eleven and was prescribed bifocals in my early twenties. My ability to recall is not as sharp as it once was but I am still able to function in a job and live independently. I think what I miss the most is my red hair. I had thick, long, coppery colored red hair. I enjoyed having the color of hair that is least common. There are lots of blonds and brunettes but not that many redheads. All the colors I prefer to wear are the colors that complement red hair. Colors that do not usually look good on me now.
As I grew older my hair darkened and the red faded. For a few years I used a color rinse that maintained the original color but somewhere along the way I became allergic to products that color your hair. My hair has begun to turn grey around my face but it remains a very nondescript color in back and horror of horrors, my hair is thinning and I have the balding pattern that runs in our family. I have also developed cowlicks and styling my hair is no longer possible. Long hair is a thing of the past. I now wear it very short.
My mother’s hair, originally brunette, turned a beautiful white and she never had to use a color rinse to enhance it. It had a natural wave and softly framed her face. I wish that my hair would turn white like hers but it isn’t.
I sometimes wonder what purpose or lesson God has in mind for us in being subjected to the indignities and losses that most of us experience as we grow older? Many of them are too embarrassing to even talk about. Many are silly, like losing your hair, or the color of your hair, and some are very serious. It almost feels like adding insult to injury. And I know that God would do neither.
Approaching the end of one’s life is difficult enough without all the indignities that we joke about because it’s the only way we can handle the humiliation.
On the bright side I have a granddaughter who inherited my red hair, just as I inherited mine from my grandmother, and she is named after me! When I think about her I don’t miss the loss of my red hair so much.